So So Lazy

7 a.m. and I can't bring myself to get up and clean. Any minute my little one will wake up an start fussing. In my mind I justify this laziness because its the only quiet "me time" I can get. She's in her needy stage so I can hardly do anything that doesn't involve here because she pitches a fit. 

My boys are 12 and 13. I had them at a fairly young age and I feel that I am certainly paying for my poor parenting now. Getting them to help me clean is like pulling teeth. One kinda just ignores me and the other one complains the entire time to where I regret asking him for help. 

Well, I hear someone stirring. 

Country Living, at a cost......

I moved out to a more rural area at the very beginning of January. I love everything about this place BUT everything is far away, even the grocery store. Not to mention the worst thing of all....no quality Internet. Though I have seen maybe 2 places thy can provide service to me it seriously feels like a presidential election. Shitty option #1, satellite with a data cap or shitty option #2, slow as hell dsl connection. 

It's FINALLY the weekend

....is probably what I would be saying if I didn't have to work or had some kind of social life. It's past 8pm and this is the time where I start mentally preparing myself for the night. Yes, the night. No, I'm not some lady of the streets. I have a quaint little part-time job stocking over night. 

I have worked most of the time since I was about 16 with a few spots of unemployment in between. It wasn't until about 2 years ago that I had "the luxury" of being a stay at home mom. There's a lot of things that I don't do well and being a SAHM/SAHW was one  of them. I started working again in May and while it is refreshing to talk to adults  I miss my husband greatly. 

See, working doesn't really make sense if you spend the majority of your checks on gas, lunch, and a baby-sitter. Being away from my family wouldn't be worth an extra $100 a month. I work opposite days of my husband with only one overlapping day. That way we don't  have to get a second vehicle and his mom is gracious enough to watch our 13 month old daughter the night we both work. 

Time to put my game face on!

Here I Sit

These are the moments when I feel like a dud, as a wife and as a mom. After a 10 hour shift my loving husband texts me at 2:15 a.m. to tell me he's on his way home. I take advantage of the fact and let him know that I didn't make dinner. I didn't work or do anything important. Why didn't I make dinner? My husband would never ask me that. He just asks what I want. 

It only takes being with such a great person that I realize how much I suck.